How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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