all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
