I think my vagina is haunted
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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