I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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