I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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