After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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