This girl is more easily done than said...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
