i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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