So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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