If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i dont even know how to be here
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
