do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
