Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Randomize
