Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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