you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
