i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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