just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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