i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
