we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize