...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
