After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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