I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
