Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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