And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
