She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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