U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
