They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
