I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
