If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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