Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
