think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
how drunk are you?
Several
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
