I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
