Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
