I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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