the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
People with herpes should wear stickers.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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