So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
