I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
