i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
