May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
