New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
