I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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