Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
