3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
