Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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