he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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