sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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