it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
