i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
soo... how was my night?
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