there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
