This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
