Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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