I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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