she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
