we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
