The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
