Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
