no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
