I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
