Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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