I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
how drunk are you?
Several
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
