To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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